Sunday, November 22, 2009


My Mom and I were driving down the road the other day and realized. Wow, this time of year we usually could have been found at rehearsals getting ready for opening weekend of the Nutcracker. To most people the smell of a theater is nothing to write home about. But I love the smell of the dust, the stage, the old curtains, and the feel of the floor. We talked a while about our adventures. So many tutu's piled high in her van.

I can remember after company class it was off to the dressing room. I'd start my make-up, go out to prayer before the show started, back in the dressing room, I'd be finishing my make-up as the music started for party scene. On with my tights and pointe shoes, in the hallway to stretch. Then it was getting sewn into my snow tutu and off to the wings.

I don't ever remember being nervous before a show. I can still remember the feel, just a split second before going on stage of--- omg I have to pee (that was my nerves) and on I was with a flying grand zete. Gosh the second I stepped on stage I was a million feet high. It was a feeling of electricity, flight, and untouchability that for a short moment in time I was beautiful. None of the harsh words I had heard in school could bother me in my safe haven on stage. I didn't have two different eyes there. I was everything I wanted to be.

I take my bow, and once again I return to being the skinny, one eyed girl that I wish I could escape.


  1. A beautiful posting. You were a very special skinny girl and still are.

  2. this was such a lovely post. It's funny how all those little moments stay ingrained.