Monday, October 19, 2009

Am I nuts?

Since I was 7 years old up until a short time ago, I was a dancer. It was how I defined myself. It was who I was. I lived and breathed dance. When I stopped dancing I was not ready in the least. It broke my heart.
I have 2 more titles now: wife and mother. But who am I. I"m 27 now and 5 months post partum. I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight and feeling very ambitious. I want and need to dance! I need that definition. It's what I know. I need it to feel complete. In reality if I can get back to it I know I only have a couple of years and will need to find something else. They way I look at it is that you only live once and I have to do this. I can't go back to working some random job making less than adequate money. I'd rather kill my body and be happy. I've always wanted my children to know me as a ballerina. I thought it would be something they could be proud of as well.
Is it possible? Would I be able to perform again? Time will only tell.

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